Thursday, February 9, 2012

Being Short at Metal Shows

I don’t know what it is about Metal shows, but tall people just love to stand in front of short people.  Perhaps they just don’t SEE little 5’2” me when they start walking.  They find an open spot and travel through the raging crowd just to find out that, oh, there’s a tiny person there.  Well, too late to turn back, let’s just stand in front of her.  She won’t do anything. 

And I DON’T do anything!  I get super angry and passive aggressive about it, but I usually just sigh and try to find a window around their shoulders.  But often that’s impossible, as these Viking men are as wide as they are tall, and I literally have to move myself to see anything but the tour dates on the backs of their shirts.  What am I to do?

So many tall people -_-  But Hansiiiii <3

Things that often don’t work:
  • Yell (they can pretend not to hear you, and it’s very possible that they really can’t hear you, anyway)
  • Try to get their attention through poking/tapping/nudging the shoulder (they can easily ignore that, too)
  • Move to a different spot (the same thing will happen again when everyone’s taller than you)

Things that I may try:
  • Say “fuck it” and just push through to the front of the stage and use above ignoring tactics on naysayers
  • Invest in platform shoes and Dr. Scholl’s gel insoles (has anyone else tried this?)
  • Bring a box to stand on and dare people to tell me I can’t

Now, there's a girl who must know my pain.
Seriously, though, what have you done about this?  Or, tall guys, what would get you to move aside for a tiny person?  If a tiny person stood in front of you without asking, how would you react?  I remember I was able to stand front row at a DragonForce concert because a kind, tall person took pity on me and MADE me stand in front of him.  So, tall men, keep in mind that it might get you points with us tiny ladies if you let us stand in front of you at shows.  ;D

Expect to see a post about platform shoes in the near future.

(Photos taken at Blind Guardian/Seven Kingdoms show at the Masquerade in Atlanta in 2010.  If you've never listened to either of these bands, you need to go do so immediately.  YouTube.)

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